Butterflies

Its just one of those things where you have been in love with him forever. he is your dream guy.i mean the one that you KNOW you don't have a chance with.you fantasy every once in awhile about. you have got close a couple times but you feel like you've never cut it. So the couple times it gets closer and closer. this time is the closest. it almost scares me how much it means to me. For ME to have this guy "fall" for me would literally mean the world to me.It puts me in shock how close i really am. Ohh but wait then it kicks in. "i'm not good enough" "what if i am awkward" "this is a joke to him" "i'm just gonna get hurt.." ya know the famous talk you give yourself to talk you out of every relationship. IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING TO HIM TOO? i didn't have any complaints with him until now. Its ridiculous. i know i am just nervous though, because its still every hug i cherish and every text i smile. ohh and his smile gives me butterflies. soo why am i doing this to myself. am i insane? I sure am acting like it. i'm in love with him and everything about him. he makes me soo unbelievably happy. its just not fair that i have to have second thoughts. I know i shouldn't be complaining but why are these thoughts even there? he is perfect. and i should be soo happy that he even is thinkin about giving me a chance.